Nothing
by Pearl the Barrister
Summary: Kappa Mikey/Twilight/other Xover. Charlie and the world's sandwich supply are kidnapped by von Fabio and his evil army of dead presidents, and only Yes Man can save them! K Rating. ROMANCE! Not :D:D:D EDIT: Sorry, this should be in Xovers. D:
1. Kidnapped

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Twilight, Kappa Mikey, or any other franchises in this fic.

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It was a peaceful day in Forks. Charlie walked out of his ugly house to get the mail. Suddenly a flash of light appeared across the sky.

"I wonder what it is," he thought to himself. He got the mail and went inside, but he never got inside.

Nobody can hear you scream- when they've duct taped your mouth shut.

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More to come. Please R and R.


	2. Kappa USA

Here's the first actual chapter.

Please read and review! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or KM, or any other copyrighted works contained in the story below or any chapters preceeding or after.

(For those of you who have seen it, this fic pretends that "Uh Oh, Guano" never happened)

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NARRATOR: A bright sun dawned on LilyMu Studios, Tokyo, Japan that fateful morning. Mitsuki walked into the studios with a smile pasted onto her face as usual.

MITSUKI: Hi, Lily!

LILY: Grunt.

MITSUKI: Hi, Ozu!

OZU: Hello...what's your name again?

YES MAN: Ozu confused!

MITSUKI: Mitsuki.

NARRATOR: In a few minutes, the LilyMu cast had gathered at the studio. Ozu wanted to discuss something with them. Something of 'international importance' he had said.

LILY: Hah, his idea of international importance... (voice is louder) Oh, hi, Guano!

GUANO: Hi, Lily... (thinks: what does she want? is it money? no, she's got enough of that)

MIKEY: Hey, Lily-

LILY: Ew, get lost, creep!

MIKEY: W'ever.

OZU: Anyways, I have gathered you here to discuss something very important!

YES MAN: Urgent!

MITSUKI: What is it?

GUANO: Pigeons? (cowers)

GONARD: Sandwiches? (eats pastrami)

LILY: Your will? (gets hatchet ready)

OZU: Wrong, all of you! LilyMu will be broadcasted... IN AMERICA!!!

NARRATOR: Everyone looked shocked, in that special anime way.

LILY: Wait, do you mean that EVERYONE will get to see my total awesomeness?!

GUANO: (thinks: Modesty is a word with no meaning to Lily...)

OZU: While I would not have put it that way myself, yes. We will be filming in a small town called Port Angeles, I believe.

LILY: Small town?! No one will RECOGNIZE me in a small town!

GUANO: No one would recognize you in a big city, either-we've never broadcasted in America.

LILY: (thinks: Darn, he's right...)

OZU: We will set out- tomorrow!

YES MAN: First thing in the morning!

LILYMU CAST: Yay!

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I think you can see where this is going.

Read and review! Thx.


	3. NearDeath Experience

A continuation of the story this time from a Twilight perspective.

Please R and R!

(Disclaimer: Same as last time.)

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JASPER'S POV

Alice had been begging me to take her into Port Angeles for weeks. Why I would never know- it had nothing we couldn't get in Seattle or Olympia, and we could get to any of the larger cities in half the time it took anyone else to get to Port Angeles. But she kept insisting that she wanted to see the filming of some new action show that was coming from Japan. It seemed stupid to me, but still... I wasn't really sure why she wanted ME to go. But she was shockingly persistent for someone so small, and so I was driving to a place I never wanted to go. And for some reason, Rosalie had decided to come too.

Great. Just great.

Alice tapped her foot impatiently as I drove. "Can't you go any faster?!"

I clenched my teeth. "I'm already pushing this car to the limit- 140 mph is quite too much for this poor Panamera."

"Well, keep pushing!" The new voice was Rosalie's.

Finally, after twelve minutes of listening to Alice and Rose's whines, we arrived.

I stepped out of the car and took a deep breath- it was uncomfortable in a car going 140mph. That was when I smelled it. That smell...better than any I had ever smelled...

In less than a second, I was running thru the streets, trying to track that smell.

"Jasper! Where are you going?..." Rosalie's screams faded into the chilly morning air as I turned onto another street, the others trailing me but unable to catch up.

Finally I smelled and saw it at the same time- the most wonderful scent ever...

It belonged to a young woman, about 20-25 years old. She had blue hair and looked Japanese. She was wearing a stupid-looking costume. All of this registered in my mind--including the fact that she must have been a star on the show they were about to start filming.

But none of that mattered now. I needed...that smell...oh, lord....

I jumped. No one saw- but I felt three or four arms tugging at me-

"Alice, let me GO!" I screamed.

"NO!" she screeched in reply. She and Rosalie were pulling as hard as they could, and they were succeding, as far as I could see.

Everyone was watching, looking shocked and scared. The young blue-haired girl with the ambrosiac smell looked frightened--probably because I was staring at her so ferociously. And my eyes were probably black too, seeing as I hadn't hunted in a while...damn...

Alice and Rosalie kept trying to pull me back, but it was no use. I shrugged them loose--I ran--I lunged--

The blue-haired girl screamed.

Suddenly everything went...black.............................

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That's that.

Please read and review!


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